You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
