Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
