check it out our google latitudes are spooning
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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