apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
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