Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
