he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
