i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
