i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
