kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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