Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
