no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
