You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
