lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
