i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
bring money and cleavage
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
