Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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