Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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