We're facebook friends in real life
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
