I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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