R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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