i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
