i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
