So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
