Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
