My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
