bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
