you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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