Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
