man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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