Having a random hookup so left but love u
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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