If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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