Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
