So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
