What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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