Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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