the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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