He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
honey bunches of taint.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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