that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Randomize
