Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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