no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
