1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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