I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
