My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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