she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
should my penis look like a turkey
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
