My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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