You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
