Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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