dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
