The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
