the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pants are for mortals
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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