I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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